A letter about our family and community life...

The following is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to someone considering raising children in community. I wanted to share/save this here because I think it was one of the few times that I have written out my thoughts on family in community life...

Congratulations to your whole house. Babies surely do change the equation, but we have loved having a community that loves and serves our family. We have been so blessed to have a group of supportive adults who leap at the chance to wipe up spilled dinners, don't mind toys in EVERY direction, and who encourage us when we are sure we are screwing up our children for life.

We moved into community when our son was 11 months old. We have since been joined by our little girl. Early on in the discussions about community life we asked the community to leave all correction and discipline to us, but we invited our housemates to backup our rules and consequences if we were out of earshot. This has occasionally meant coming back downstairs to find my little guy in timeout for something that I might have ignored, but I trust my housemates and I am thankful for the influence they have on my children's development.

There is a lot of second guessing myself in parenting. I have been so blessed by the encouragement of my community. There are so many days that I feel like I am failing, but I am continually affirmed by the household as everyone returns at the end of the day. I can't imagine what pressure would be on my husband if he had to lift that burden alone after a full day at work.

Open communication is key to community life, but it is important for the community to realize that there is little that people are as insecure about as raising children. It is vitally important to encourage openly and refrain from anything that could be seen as correction. I hope that if there comes a day that someone feels the need to confront an aspect of my parenting that I will be ready to hear it. After 2 years here, and plenty of affirmation, I am sure that I can trust my housemates to approach that conversation with a lot of love.